I'm over halfway through with my book, and the more I read, the more excited I get! I honestly had NO IDEA teenagers had the sort of maturity I'm seeing with, not only the authors, but the people they have had impacts on! See, I've always been frustrated with the little amount of effort teenagers put into their lives and the lives of others. What I'm about to write about will be my thoughts on what I've read, and some feelings I've had for a long time. Get ready, because this one will be long.
We are told to spend time around those who are Godly, wise, and will help us grow. Not only that, but people who are older than we are, for they will have wisdom of a longer life lived, more things they've done wrong and can warn you about. What better place to find that kind of person than our church. And honestly, that's where most Christian teens SHOULD look for that sort of people, only problem is...where are they? I have seen a MAJOR lack in elders wisdom, because they just don't care. Their lives are being lived for their job, and keeping their family "looking good" for other people. So, you all know the saying "you are what you eat" right? Would seem to reason the same would go for the people we hang around, "you are who you spend time with." Seems reasonable...and best yet, it's very true. Has anyone ever noticed who teen spend their time around? What most people don't understand, is the major impact "friends" have on our young people's lives. You notice your child drifting away, changing in lots of negative ways, and your first thought isn't "who are they spending time around that would influence them like this?" of course it's not that thought! It's the "normal parents thought" of, "well, they're a teenager, and every teen rebels some time or another, it's just normal teenage rebellion." Now let me ask you something...since when have we excused rebelling against God, parental authority, and elder authority as "normal?" The book I'm reading has many reason why we teens are the way we are...best of all, the book was written by teens, and has letters other teenagers have written telling their feelings. You know why teenagers have such bog problems? Low expectations. Yup, "simple" as that. That's what this whole book is about. I honestly didn't think there was a mature teen left on this earth anymore...non the less ones who would admit what they're problem was!! It was exciting and gave me hope! Did you know that a teen will give you exactly what you want? Sure, and you may complain about them not doing anything, but it's your fault, mine and everyone else's. Since what we expect from teenagers is not very much at all, or even just a simple "failure" that is what they gladly give us! They are giving you exactly what we've ordered: nothing. We don't expect them to do anything that involves work, getting outside their comfort zone, or that takes any sort of thought or effort. Everyone knows these sayings: "Well, I did my best" or "at least I did better than he did" or maybe it's that PEOPLE say, "just do your best, that's good enough." Even when that is said by teens or other people, do we really do our "best"? In school...we realize we can get by with doing the minimum amount of work required and still come out ahead of our class! Good job for us, a big pat on the back! If that's what we did...we didn't really do our best, now did we? No. That's what I thought. We simply did what was required, no more, no ..well, some people it might even be "less" than the required...that's why DOING only what is required makes you ahead of everyone else! Since we did (or didn't) only the required amount of studying and homework, we didn't REALLY learn anything, now did we?
You know, with the exception of the past two years, I did my school, read what I was supposed to, and did however many hours my mom told me to do...and what do you know, I got A's and A+! Woo hoo for me! That's what school is supposed to be, getting good grade, who cares if I actually LEARNED that stuff, right? Wrong. I lived in a lie, for all those years, telling myself school was about the best and highest grades. *sad laugh* Do you realize how many YEARS I wasted? I never actually 'learned' anything because I was lazy and bought into the lie of school. (Sorry teens, that doesn't mean I'm saying learning school is a lie.) I mean, if I was actually LEARNING everything, that would take studying, time taken that I could go play, or hang out with people! Nobody would actually expect me to sacrifice MY time just to learn a lot of (what I thought was) boring stuff! Truth is, these past two years of my life have been two of THE BEST years ever. Because now, I LOVE to learn! Even if it's something that seems boring at first, I stick with it and I end up really enjoying it! Yes, there might be some things that I won't ever find terribly interesting...but I don't know what God's plan for my life is, what if He wants me to learn it because it has to do with what He's going to have me to when I get older? I know to a lot of teens all of this sounds really corny..."learning is NEVER fun! You're delusional!" How would you know if learning is fun or not? You've never even tried it! Think of everything you could accomplish by stretching yourself, building knowledge, and going above and beyond the "normal" or "expected" of our lives. Shock people with the large amount of want you have to grow and mature. You'd be VERY surprised with their response!
Something that almost every single one of these teens said, was the huge disappointment they had when given an award in school for turning in their paperwork, and not goofing off in class. Uh, excuse me, but WHEN did teenagers start getting praised, and AWARDED for doing what's right!?! Something else they said...parents, and adults in their CHURCH would say how nice it was to see a few teens out doing community service instead of doing drugs, drinking, smoking, and partying with their friends. Wait, wait, wait. We are getting praised because we don't do BAD things? Yes, that's all very well and nice, and I suppose it does help teens stay out of that stuff (sometimes,) but aren't we needing to do good, ALONG WITH not doing bad? And, half the time when we DO go out and do something immoral or such like, we are told "it's ok, you messed up and I'm sure you'll do better next time." Why couldn't we have stopped it in the FIRST PLACE! I'm not saying chain your children up or lock them in the house...but don't you see? No wonder teen girls are getting pregnant, most teens leave home at age 18 (most of the time EARLIER than that) and who hasn't met a family that doesn't have a teen who rebels against EVERY AUTHORITY set before them!?! Worst part, it's only getting worse, and not a SINGLE person cares enough to change it, and it's ruining and destroying our teenagers life. I mean...even when someone hears the word "teenager" it's thought of as a time for relaxing before having to have..oh, what's that word...??...oh yes! R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y. I'm not done yet, a few other things that come to mind when they hear "teenager" is the party life, and the "vacation time" and the best one..."a time where there aren't any responsibilities. And because we have our drivers license and this amazing car my parents bought for me, I can go anywhere I want! Hey, I'm old enough!" everyone KNOWS that whatever we get into in our teen years, we can simply get out of when it's time for us to grow up! No big deal, right? I wish you could see the amount of people Alex and Brett (the authors of this book) have talked to that are in their 40's and older, that got into all sorts of things when they were a teenager, thinking they could just drop out of it when it was "time to stop the fun." You know what happened to them? They are STILL chained to those things, and regret ever second they were a teen. What Alex and Brett say teen years are SUPPOSED TO BE, is "the launching pad for our lives." What you learn, grow, and mature in through your youth will help you ALL through your life. So, if you learn how to party, do drugs, have endless time of zero responsibility...what do you think will happen to your adult life? Yup...that's what you'll be stuck with! If you don't learn all you can and stretch yourself when you're a teen, young, and healthy, it will take longer, and be MUCH harder when you're older. People just don't understand HOW CAPABLE we teenagers are. A persons mind and body are able to do SO much more when they're in their youth than any other time. Yet what do we do with those years? Of course, what everyone around us expects us to...waste it away.
Can we not ever learn? Can we not open our eyes and see how much we're hurting this coming generation by having such horribly low expectations for them? If we say we expect them to fail in life, that is what they will do 90% of the time. We MUST change, otherwise they're lives are completely wasted, and will never amount to anything worth while. Ok, so they may get a job, they may get a family...but, if they haven't been taught to be mature, have responsibility, and grow in life BOTH of those things that we thought were "so good" are now gone, and it's all because we never expected a single thing from them.
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