Stones of Judgment

"Do not judge so that you will not be judged."

I hear people quote this verse all the time and, whereas I think there is a lot to learn from it, I think people take it to all kinds of extremes and the end result is not love, but more judging.

There are those who think it is their job to point out every little thing in people's lives that is different from their own, making sure they let them know they are "wrong." As if it's okay to judge people for judging? Huh?

Those who are less conservative call the conservatives "legalistic" and those who are more conservative call those with less "rules" liberal. All of the non believers see the name calling and call us "crazy Christians."

We become so focused on being free in our beliefs that we think everyone else needs to be like us to be happy; this is typically when we become "loud" like a "gong or cymbal" (If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1 NASB). In all honesty, we do not treat other believers with love, do we? Then there are the Christians who are a little more "out there" than us; we laugh at them, mocking their beliefs because they don't live as we do. 

Who ever said we have the right to do this? I have been convicted at how little respect I have for people who don't believe the same things as I. Not to mention a lack of  love. It makes me sad to know I have been a part of a problem instead of a revolution of love. I see people with tattoos, I judge their lifestyle. I see people who smoke, I roll my eyes and mumble remarks under my breath. I see people who are dressed differently than me, and I comment on how "weird" or "creepy" they look. Somebody has a lip ring? "That's just not right!" we say. See, people will believe differently than me depending on what they have convictions about, and that's okay! Tattoos, clothing styles, bad habits, piercings....all of these things are on the OUTSIDE, and because of my judgmental attitude, I won't ever meet them to see what their heart looks like. I have turned away a potential relationship with someone because of how they look? How totally un-Christ like! In John 4 we read about the women Jesus meets at the well. You find out she has been married 5 times and was living with a man whom she wasn't married to; did this stop Jesus from talking to her, from sharing with her the good news of eternal life? No! He openly shared with her. THIS is the example of Christ. Do we ever even get far enough past judgmental thoughts that we are even able to have a conversation with people?

The only thing you should worry about in people's beliefs is whether or not they have Jesus as their Savior. That should be our first concern; no matter what else you think is important. Outside of that, NOTHING else is our business. We can teach in love what the bible says, but we have to let Christ convict people how HE pleases, not as WE think they should live.

Now don't get me wrong, there will be people who don't listen to what God is saying and it's okay to point those out, as long as it is something specifically against God's word, and not our opinion.

See, there are basically two kinds of Christians today: Conservatives and non-conservatives. 

The issue here is this: typically, both live to judge. The conservatives judge others for what all they DO in their lives, and the non-conservatives judge those who DON'T do certain things. Both thinking the others are in the wrong. The truth is, neither are bringing glory to God with their actions. Back when I was a kid there were many things I wasn't allowed to do. I was teased and laughed at a lot, so to make myself feel better, I would talk about the "other" people and what they wore, listened to and talked about. It made me feel better about myself and the things I did...because, in my mind, it made me feel "more holy" than they were.

Those "less-conservative" people truly think the only judgmental people are those who are "super conservative." So, you label them and laugh at them because they're different and have chosen not to do certain things, and that makes THEM the judgmental ones? How does that work?

"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?    Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?    You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:1-5 NASB)

When we spend all of our time worrying about what other people are doing, we stop paying attention to how we are living our own lives. This is a dangerous place, because the moment you stop holding yourself accountable for your actions, words and thoughts, they will begin to stray from the things of Christ.

Don't expect perfection from everyone when you yourself cannot achieve perfection. Don't point out someone else' faults when you have your own mile long list.

"Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them. The scribes and the Pharisees *brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they *said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” -John 8:2-7

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,^" declares the Lord. ^"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8

New Perspective On Love

I hear many sides to Valentines Day and I think it's time we get a new perspective on the situation.

Some of the singles try to sound happy about being single, some even laugh and call it something like "Singles Awareness Day" (SAD, how ironic.) Some get depressed that they don't have a significant other. Some go have fun and are truly happy about their life. 

Then there are those who have someone. Some husbands and wives are all about the traditional teddy bears, chocolates, flowers and going out to dinner. Some are miserable with each other and pretend like the day doesn't even exist. Some are just so in love they don't care what they do or what happens, they are just happy to be together.

Well, I am here to say I have been through just about every emotion a person can have for Valentines Day. 

-I have been the depressed single, wishing my prince charming would come rescue me from loneliness.
-I have been single, and content with it, because I felt loved by my friends.
-I have been in a bad relationship and couldn't enjoy it like my friends who were happy.
-I have been in a wonderful relationship and just wanted to do all I could for my guy to make him feel loved.

You see, I've heard many different feelings for this holiday. Even people who say they think it's a waste to spend so much money on a single day. Here's the thing, whereas I can agree that it gets a little bit overdone with some people and the whole cheesiness factor does come in to play at times, BUT, I think the principal of the holiday is a good one. These days people's lives are so busy 24/7 that I think often times we forget to show our feelings. If it takes a "silly" holiday to remind us, then by all means, bring on the holiday!

I know, it shouldn't take a holiday to remind us to show our love and appreciation for the people in our lives, but I think it has come to that point. If you're one who brings a little romance to your spouse/significant other year round, kudos to you! You've managed to do something that people have lost the desire to do. But the truth is, I still think it's a good idea to set aside, at the very least, one day out of the year to think about each other and nothing else. To spend a little money on a nice dinner, buy your wife or girlfriend some flowers (no, that has not gone out of style, we still love flowers!) or just sit and enjoy a good movie.

If you're SINGLE, do not be depressed! It is better to wait years for the RIGHT guy than spend time looking for "any" guy. Being in a relationship is not everything. If you're single, take advantage of it! Spend time with your friends, go on adventures, seek out God's plan for your life here and now. Don't push to be in a relationship when it might not be your time. I know the feeling, believe me, I've had many a things I wish I wouldn't have rushed into. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache by just being patient. But all I can do is offer my advice. Enjoy your life right where you are. God has amazing plans for you right now, just like he does for those who are in relationships. To search for love is to forget the ONE who has always loved you. Jesus.

Complaining about not being in a relationship won't make you happier. Going into a relationship you know isn't right won't make you happy. Complaining that your relationship isn't like your friends won't make you happy. Getting our of a "complacent" or "loveless" marriage won't bring you happiness. 
Happiness is a choice, and it is one we must all make for ourselves.


Valentines Day is not about having somebody to love, but rather loving somebody you have. 

Look around you. There are plenty of people deserving. 

The Decay Of Relationships

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed how all of our "social networks" have begun making us less social? When out in public, instead of noticing the people around us, saying hi or smiling, we are looking down with our face glued to our phones.

I know. People who know me know I, of all people, have absolutely no room to talk. I normally post on Facebook at least 15 times a day. And I have certainly not been the poster child for positive posts. But lately I've noticed the more I actually browse through the news feed, the more depressed or irritated I become (absolutely nothing against my friends, btw!)

I have learned a few things about the subject of my posts. There are just some things we don't need to post for the world to see.

Here are just a few things to think about when sharing your life with the whole world:

1. Is what you're about to post uplifting?
(i.e. "People just need to leave me alone!")

2. Will your post cause unnecessary drama?
(i.e "I hate it when my parents get all in my face and try to rule my life!")

3. Does your post have the potential start an argument that will end in you getting defensive/offensive?
(i.e. "All you people out there need to just leave the government alone and let them do their job."

4. Are you willing to answer the questions people are bound to ask?
(i.e. Sometimes, I just wish people could accept me for who I am and not talk about me behind my back.")

5. Though you may be going through a rough time with your family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, your problems do not need to be of public knowledge. It is unnecessary, and we often become degrading towards that person in front of hundreds of people (which in turn, causes gossip and ruined relationships.)
(i.e. "Why does my ______ have to treat me like this? I can't take it anymore. I'm done.")

6. Is there any meaning in what you're about to post, or are you wasting 3 minutes of your day to share a status nobody cares about?
(i.e "I just ate a hamburger!")

Now, I'm not saying don't ever post anything on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Flickr/MySpace. But if we would use these tools more of an encourager than a DIScourager, I think we would be amazed at how happier our lives would be. I think these networks have begun to replace a vital relationship in our lives. Our relationship with Jesus. We don't go to Him in prayer anymore, because we can just post our problems on Facebook for everyone to see; and of course, we will get PLENTY of feedback from our friends and their "wisdom".

When it comes to personal problems, if you want some of your friends to pray for you, or hear some encouragement, just send a text/personal message to them to ask. Or even better, give them a call! Talk to someone about what you're going through, don't post it on the internet where you can't take it back.

One thing to ask yourself: If people were to describe me ONLY based on what I post on Facebook, what would they say about me?
Are you the drama queen? The man/woman who hates their marriage and doesn't mind degrading their spouse in front of hundreds of people? The one who can't trust God? The friend who talks down about others behind their back? The mom who is never happy? The husband who can't wait to get out of the house? The boyfriend/girlfriend who can't ever be made happy?

What do people say about you?

See, you might think your "mistake" post can be deleted, but by the time you regret posting something and go remove it, hundreds of people have already seen it, and it will always be floating out there for someone to dig up someday. We think just because we don't have to say things to someone's face, we have the freedom to say whatever we want. That is the furthest thing from the truth. We should treat our social networks as outreaches for Christ, not gossip chains and drama chat rooms.

My goal lately has been to not share every time I don't feel well or have a bad day. I don't have to let everyone know what all I ate for lunch. Nobody needs to know when I'm having relationship issues (doesn't matter if it's family/friends, etc). My opinion about certain topics is just that; my opinion. If I post something that is confrontational, I better not get upset when people comment and have an opinion contrary to my own. If I know for a fact it will start an argument, then I better think twice before posting it.

All of that to say, I've learned I have so much more time to work on the PERSONAL relationships around me when I'm less worried about keeping everyone updated on what I had for snack or that I just had to fill up my car and how much it cost me. I love that I can keep in touch with family and friends who don't live near me, but honestly, they don't need to know that kind of thing.

Think before you post. Build relationships with people face to face. I guarantee you will see results, and be happy with the results you get! It is time we bring "being social" back to real life.


"Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established." (Proverbs: 16:3 NASB)