"Expectations destroy relationships."
I have searched and gone through many quotes in my spare time...this is probably one of the most accurate one's (for the most part) I've ever heard. Now, there are the right kind of expectations, and the wrong kind. It is good for a wife to *expect* her husband to be faithful. It is right for God to *expect* us to follow His law and commandments. It is wrong, for example, for a girl to *expect* a dozen roses every V-day, birthday, etc from her guy...because, what happens when he doesn't meet that expectation? There is disappointment, and then you have a whole slew of problems to follow. How many times is a marriage or friendship broken because someone has unreasonable expectations for another person, and those expectations weren't met? It's such our humanly nature to try and make people perfect...or whatever "perfect" is in our minds.
So, SO many times I have pushed God's love for others to the back of my mind, and given myself SOME kind of excuse for judging another person. It's so selfish...and it means that I think I'm more perfect, or better than that person. That in itself is a sin, and is one of the worst..because I lose sooo much. Not only relationships, but part of who God made me to be...and then I stop showing Christ through me, because I don't have time to love when I'm pointing my finger at those around me. I've found that it's more of an insecurity thing, though. If I feel less than someone else, or that they're better than me, I do all I can to find, what is in my mind, a "fault," that way I can say "well, they might be prettier, but at least I smile more!" or some such nonsense. All the while, if I had simply put my trust and faith in Jesus, that I am perfect in His sight, because of His blood, His gift...His love...then I wouldn't even have a judgmental though pop into my head! It is VERY possible to fix such a problem...for in Christ, we can do anything.
We can't accept other believers because well, they're not good enough. If they were more like "me" then, and only then, could I have a relationship with them. We sit back and watch people, judge them by their actions, instead of finding out what their actual intentions are. Is this not what Christ told us not to do? "Judge not, let ye be judged." How many times do we point the finger at other people, and not look at our own lives? In the time it takes us to figure out a judgmental remark to our fellow brother/sister, we could have fixed at least one problem we have in our own lives! Why must we go on like this without opening our eyes.
"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"
The song "What this world needs" by Casting Crowns says a lot about this, as well.
"What this world needs is for us to care more about the inside than the outside
Have we become so blind that we can't see God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt ?"
"What this world needs is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance, blending in so well that people can't see the difference, and it's the difference that sets the world free"
God has called us to love. Not to judge, or point our unholy, sinful finger at other people who aren't just like us.
Christians do more for themselves than for Christ these days, and it's sad. We do things that make us "feel good" instead of giving up ourselves to Him so that HE can be the one to guide us and show us what to say and do. Have we become so blind to our own sin and wrong, that all we can do is judge the world around us?
And even now, as I write this my brain can't help but think of things I can find wrong with other people...as I'm sure you're doing... "Wow, Bro/Sister ______ should SO read this! They have such a problem with pointing their little finger..." No. This is for ME...and you. Not the next person.
May God change the hearts of His children, so we, *I*, can let Him shine through all of our lives, and not our own selfish thoughts.
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