Hiding or Seeking

The amazing thing about the death and resurrection of Jesus is that He didn't just give us an eternal gift; He gave us back what sin had taken from us: A life with Jesus. The minute we entered this world we became a sinner. We are born broken into a broken world. We then spend the rest of our lives searching for something to make us feel whole. We go to self-help books written by people who claim to have found "it" but we come out feeling just as empty as ever. We look for fulfillment in people, friends or a "significant other" but, as humans often do, they let us down and only empty more from within us. We look for fulfillment in material things, such as wealth, better house/cars or just plain "stuff." With all of these, however, we have a constant feeling of need (want) and aren't ever happy until we get MORE (which never fills us enough.) We spend so much of our time searching for healing, when all we need to do is be real before God...we must admit that we are a broken mess and cannot fix ourselves. "Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." -James 4:10

By searching in all the wrong places we miss all the right things. But most of all, we miss the kind of relationship with Christ that He so desires to give us. If we feel far from Him it is not because He is pulling away, but because we are backing away. The bible says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8) The longer we go without seeking God the further we will drift from Him.

The thing I have the hardest time seeking God in frequently would be... my dreams. I get them all planned out by myself and totally forget to seek His will. I forget that my dreams were never mine in the first place. They were given to me by God, planned out since before I was born. I must surrender them each and every day to God, humbly go before Him and place them into His hands. I've learned (through many mistakes) that God doesn't ever just give someone a dream or passion then snatch it away. He might ask us to give them back to Him for a time, but when He gives them back they are more bright a beautiful than ever before! The best part? Once we have given everything over to God, He will bless them even more as we go out and start living them out...because we use them as HIS and not OURS.

Like our dreams, there are so many areas we need to have complete faith in God's promises. He tells us that "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5) and that truly means NEVER. There will be times when we won't see Him, but He is always there and will always provide for our needs. Not always, but many times in our life when we don't see God it is not because He isn't there, but because we aren't looking. We don't go looking for something we think we don't we need. When we've just eaten, we don't go to the fridge just because there is food in there. We go to the fridge when we're hungry. Same with God. This means with man-kinds prideful nature, we often don't feel we need God. This ends with us wandering around like sheep without a shepherd...totally lost because we in and of ourselves are clueless. We have to understand the fact that we need something bigger than ourselves to save us from ourselves.

"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." -Proverbs 4:23

Everything we do and think comes from our hearts. Have you ever heard the saying "follow your heart"? It's actually not a very good idea, because the bible says that "“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) Why would we want to follow such a thing if we want to have a happy life? Again, it would be looking to ourselves for the answer, instead of seeking God. Our sinful nature means our hearts biggest influence IS sin. We must allow God, TRUST God, to lead our hearts in the best direction possible. We make choices based on what "feels good" at this moment, while God chooses what "IS good" for our whole life.

Our hearts are pretty fickle. They don't know exactly what they want...they're always changing their minds. Why do you think marriages and relationships fall apart so quickly these days? Our heart buries hurt deep inside and holds scars longer and deeper than anything else. When we are hurt, we tell ourselves "I'll get over it" and we attempt to move on. However, unless we release those hurts and scars into God's hands, we won't ever have the kind of healing that we're looking for..the kind of healing that we need. We will never have closure without God, because without Him we will be under a dark cloud of hopelessness.

Our hearts, like every other part of us, are selfish. It's just that simple. We want everything without giving up anything. Almost like clock work, the second I am hurt by someone, my first reaction is to build up walls as fast as possible. I want them tall and thick so nobody can penetrate or get over them. I crawl around sweeping up the pieces of my comfort zone, gluing them back together and then quickly crawl inside. And last, but not least, I re create my bubble which nobody is allowed through. I do everything I can to not show a drop of emotion; showing people that I have feelings is completely out of the question, and I put on my "tough girl" face and head back out into the world trying to avoid making any new friends.

Because we all know this will make the pain go away. Right? I have found that being alone has never been a good solution for anything. By hiding from everything, I am also closing up to the love and healing of Christ. I think my solution is the only way, and begin losing trust, faith and hope in God's ability to protect me. I slowly begin to stop seeking all that He wishes to offer as a cure for my pain.

If I have learned anything the past few years it is this: God cannot make everyone around us treat us like royalty. He can't. To do so He would have to take away our freedom, and He will never do that. We are all human, therefore we will all make the wrong decisions. As a matter of a fact, we will have a lifetime of mistakes. For those who think they have have it all figured out...I'd love to hear how you live such a perfect life.

The good news to this (yes, there is some) is that God's hands are big enough to catch us when we're knocked down. Whether it's by people, things or feelings...He is the Ultimate Healer.

When people let us down, instead of keeping our love bound and gagged deep inside, we should choose to give it away! Love is one of the few things that multiplies and expands as we pass it on to others.

Christ was treated like a criminal by so many people, yet He still chose to give His love to each and every one of them. He gave it to those who cursed Him, those who beat Him, mocked Him and spat on Him...even those who betrayed Him. His death was the seal to His promise of everlasting love.

Instead of going to self-help books and worldly affection that will fade away...we need to make a habit of going to God with our problems. When we come back to reality, we will (hopefully) finally realize God is truly the only one who can help us, anyway. He will cover our mistakes up in His blood and, like the verse says, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12)

"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:1-8

Are we hiding or seeking?