Forgiveness is hardest when someone has purposefully hurt or offended us. To this day I continue to struggle with this. Not many people have hurt me enough where I felt I couldn't forgive them, but there are a few.
There are certain people who enter our lives that we feel made us break into pieces, when in reality, every person who we come into contact with has a purpose. We may not see the meaning until years later, or possibly not even until we' re in heaven someday. But never has there been a circumstance where God wasn't brought the glory or showed mighty. He brings good even from the worst places in our lives.
What is the best way to move past this feeling of hatred or pain? I still don't have the answer to that one. Day in and day out I have to beg God to help me forgive those people once again. Every day. I think I'm over it...then something reminds me, or the name is brought up. I just lose it and question God through tear filled eyes and clenched teeth "why me? What did I do to deserve this?" He hasn't sent a hand written letter down from heaven explaining why I endured these specific things, or what I did to make these people dislike me so much, but I do know this: I am a sinner in a world of sinners, and nobody is ever treated fairly. Nobody gets the perfect "love" or "acceptance" they feel they DESERVE, because we are an imperfect people.
Over time, the scars I have from people in my past haven't seemed to heal at all. I don't think they will ever truly "heal", but If there's even just one thing in this life that I can count on, every time, without a doubt, it is the love of my Healer and Savior.
Even with pain inside, I have to move forward every day. It won't get easier for a long time, and I may not even be able to mention the persons name yet, but time will help me heal.
There are certain people who enter our lives that we feel made us break into pieces, when in reality, every person who we come into contact with has a purpose. We may not see the meaning until years later, or possibly not even until we' re in heaven someday. But never has there been a circumstance where God wasn't brought the glory or showed mighty. He brings good even from the worst places in our lives.
Our past is in the past, and should never define our future. No matter where we have come from or what we have done, Gods forgiveness is there for us and is there to allow us to give to others, all we have to do is ask.
But, that's the hardest part, isn't it? Asking for forgiveness and realizing we cannot forgive on our own.
Personally, because I have always been a worse case scenario kind of person, along with being fearful over the smallest little things, it's not as easy to "just forget about it." With some people, it is harder to let go of a painful past, and even harder to not feel inferior or at fault for all of the negative situations, but for those in this category along with me, the best thing we can do is "let go and let God." He will always take the load of any burden He knows is too heavy for us.
Personally, because I have always been a worse case scenario kind of person, along with being fearful over the smallest little things, it's not as easy to "just forget about it." With some people, it is harder to let go of a painful past, and even harder to not feel inferior or at fault for all of the negative situations, but for those in this category along with me, the best thing we can do is "let go and let God." He will always take the load of any burden He knows is too heavy for us.
The only thing that keeps me sane is God, and remembering that I, too, am a sinner and have hurt others as well. I am not perfect, I am not always the perfect example of Christ, His love, forgiveness or compassion.
They're called scars for a reason. They won't ever disappear, but over time, instead of reminding us of pain, they will remind us of the strength God gave us to get through those hard times.
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