The Journey

Ill be honest, I haven't written in awhile because of one reason: I feel unworthy of all my readers. I mean, nobody wants to hear about my struggles. 

I got a phone call while at my grandparents one day and was reminded why I initially started writing years ago. I share my struggles because by sharing, I don't bottle things up and they don't feel so heavy. I want people to know I struggle every day, not to get pity, but so they know they aren't alone. I know how it feels to think you're the only one going through things like depression, pier pressure, break ups, being put down, pressure to be someone you're not... 

All of these things people go through everyday and are treated like outcasts because of it. We have all of this pressure around us to be this perfect Christian; you can't make mistakes or do anything wrong in the eyes of your church, otherwise, you're cast out of the "holy" group. 

Who in their right mind started the whole "hollier than thou" war? As if you can work your way to a higher level of holy or something. 

We weren't created to compete against each other; we were created to work together in harmony, to praise our maker. 

TOGETHER. 

Sadly, there are many who profess to be Christians, yet lack the very root of Christ Himself. And that is love. 

I strive every day to be more like Christ. But the thing is, I fail every day. As do we all.

 But, my goal in life is not to BE Christ, but strive to be more like Him. The bible says "there is none good, not even one." So, the Christians who think they can achieve a higher level of "good" than the rest are at a sad state indeed. Do I wish I could be a "good" person? Absolutely. Do I just stop trying to be more like Christ because I know I can't ever achieve perfection? Absolutely not. 

There's a quote, by whom I don't know, but I love it. 

"I am perfectly imperfect."

My goal in life isn't to do good and shove it in the face of those who We might think are "lesser" than us; our goal should be to follow Jesus in everything we say, do and think. Nothing more, nothing less. 

As another blogger said,  the day I gave my life to Christ was the day I got a lifetime job. By now, I would have been fired by anyone else. Some days I don't show up for work or fail every task I'm given. But I'm given every lasting  chances. They'll never run out. This is the love of God. 

This is what I strive to be. 

This is my journey. 

Think Before You Dress

Modesty.

Thinking of other people when you are dressing.

This is not the true definition of the word, but it is what I like to think of when I choose what I'm going to wear. Now, I'm not saying everyone should go by what I say when it comes to clothes; everyone has their own convictions and that is their choice to make. I just thought I might talk a little about why I dress the way I do.

See, people (mainly women) have a very strong power over mens minds that I don't think they think about very often. They say men should just watch their mind and not let it wander to places it shouldn't go. But my view on this is quite different.

Because of the sin nature that has been in place very clearly for thousands of years since Adam and Eve, the mind is a very dangerous place. The mind of a man will think things before the man even realizes it. Yes, to a point men can certainly "help it" at times and guard their mind to not allow it to go certain places, but I truly believe it is a womens job to not tempt their minds or prey on their weak imaginations.
That is not saying men are weak, quite the contrary, but the mind of a man is quite weak to a point in certain areas.

As a women, I have the choice to allow men to have certain thoughts about me. Letting specific areas on my body show or "hang out" could be the difference between a man staying true to his wife or having impure thoughts.

Think of it this way; if you had/have a young daughter (e.i. 12-15 yrs old), there are certainly things you would and wouldn't allow her to wear. Why is that? Most of the time I don't think it is because they would "look too old" but because there are things girls that young shouldn't be wearing for safety sake.

Wearing dresses others can see all the way up when we bend over, letting your bottom hang out from your shorts, being able to see all the way down our shirt to our toes when we bend over. The sights that such brings are ones that get mens minds to rolling in ways I don't think many women would be comfortable with.

Just as you would protect your young daughters against "showing off" certain areas, so should we as adults watch what we are showing.

Now, I realize there are many people out there much more conservative than I am, and I am not trying to tell them to live like me, nor am I trying to get the more liberal women to be more conservative to become like my standards. I am simply writing what I have had on my heart for awhile.

Women, if every thought that went through a mans mind when you dressed suggestively was spoken out loud, do you think you would be embarrassed? Are there not thoughts and desires you wish only your husband to have?

The world we live in today revolves around showing off womens bodies in so many vulgar ways it makes me sick. However, because "everyone" is doing it, women think men will just see it as "normal". This is not the case at all! No matter how times men see immodest women, they will always want to stare; sinful thoughts will ALWAYS race through their mind. Dances, songs, TV shows, live performances, movies, jokes....everything these days is starting to be based on sex. To have those thoughts drive through the minds of the people and make them accept it as being okay, when it is very wrong.When the people no longer have morals, we then become like Sodom and Gomorrah....we no are no longer a Godly people, a nation based on God...but a nation that is becoming like a city that God had wiped out because of their filthy lifestyle.

We have the power to protect mens minds, and yes, whereas I think bikinis are very cute, and those tiny dresses could show off some nice curves, I have chosen against such things for one reason: I have certain parts of me that I want to save for my husbands eyes ONLY. I want certain thoughts going through my husbands head ONLY. And whereas I know I cannot stop every man I come in contact with to keep a pure mind around me, I know there are many things I can do to help the matter.

Being modest doesn't mean you have to give up having cute clothes, being in style, or even only wearing dresses and skirts all the time! It simply means you think before you dress. Ask your husband/father what would go through a mans mind if he were to see you in _______. There will be things someday I will wear around my husband only, but thoughts going through a mans head that you are married to is okay! He has the right to think you look amazing, to touch you, etc. But these are thoughts I want him, and ONLY him, to have.

I am no picture of perfection in this area, there are times I probably don't make the best dress choices, things I've regretted doing, wearing, saying...but the most important thing is to learn from mistakes, learn from pain and hurt, learn from the lessons you've been taught and simply MOVE ON. Do not live in the past, do not live with regret....simply be better. 

Ladies, lets do men a favor, help them out a little. We have the power to make a difference, let us not waste it.

Not So Happily Ever After: Misconceptions About Marriage.

I think there are many misconceptions about marriage, the biggest being the fairy tale ending of "and they lived happily ever after". Now before you stop reading abruptly for my "negativeness," let me explain.

I think most people (women especially) have a perfect picture of what marriage should look like. People get along, they might have a disagreement about something, but the husband will give in and the wife will get her way therefore avoiding any confrontation. Things will go according to schedule, both of you and your in-laws will always get together, and you'll always have the money you need.

There's one major flaw. 

Here's the catch; Satan. 

Out of everything out there in this world, Satan hates a Godly marriage probably more than anything. When he sees one start to spring up and grow, he starts his attack. He puts pride in each others hearts, pushes them to hold grudges and puts a total halt to any loving actions. The couple then begins to loath even being around the other person, and we get yet another divorce.

Why do we not fight for marriages anymore? Why do we think being married means we always get our way and will never have to give in to something WE want? Well, because Satan is attacking them more than anything else.

There is absolutely such thing as having a happy marriage of 50, 60 even 70 years. I've seen couples 90+ years old and still being married to the person they first started with. It is possible. You simply have to stop making love a feeling and realizing everyday will be a choice whether to love that same person, despite their faults and quirks, or to hold every little thing against them and turn your heart away from them.

There's a song that has been playing on the radio recently and I think it is absolutely a piece of marriage revival material!

Song by Chris August:

"Nobody's growing old together, we've made it easy just to quit.
Love has become a negative percentage, why do we bother to commit?
We've got a long list of excuses, ways we try to justify.
Well, I propose to you the truth is, marriage does not have to die.
I know you're feeling like it’s falling apart and it can't go on anymore.
But God is a God who knows how to heal, so just give it up to the Lord,
And He will restore.
He said with this ring I promise, and with I do she said forever.
But right now if they're being honest, they don't know if they'll stay together.
Let's fast forward to the future, after struggling on their own.
They finally figured out they needed Jesus in the middle.
Now I'm watching God rebuild their home.

I know you're feeling like it’s falling apart and it can't go on anymore.
But God is a God who knows how to heal, so just give it up to the Lord,
And He will restore.
The enemy tries to come and divide
Trying to get us to give up the fight.
But darkness will always lose out to light,
'Cause we've got the power of Christ on our side.
I see you growing old together.
I pray I find a love like yours.
So if you're feeling like it’s falling apart, and it can't go on anymore.
God is a God who knows how to heal, so just give it up to the Lord
And He will restore. Like it was before, you may have strayed off course,
But He will restore." 

Giving up, in most cases, is easier than going through the fire and trials of marriage. But I think the one thing people forget, is that they not only made a vow (promise) to each other to push through thick and thin, good and bad, whether they're rich or poor, sick or healthy...and yes, even if they start to change as the years go by (we're human, we're going to constantly grow and change!) but we made that vow to GOD as well.

On a slightly different subject, on Christian vs. non Christian in a marriage.
I have seen so many women who have made SUCH a huge difference in their marriage when they come to know Christ AFTER they were married, and their husband wasn't a believer. Through their example, through prayer and constant love for that person, their spouse came to know Christ. They stuck through it even though they changed and now may not agree as much in every area. They knew they made a promise in front of God and how important it was to keep that promise. NEW believers get that, why can't we all do this? Those of us who have known Christ for most of our lives. Why? I think it goes back to the "faith of a child" verse. New believers are typically more excited and on fire for God's word than those of us who have known him for a decade or more. (It is sad, but true in many cases.)

I have definitely been one to give up on more things than I can count. But for me, when it comes to marriage, quitting is not even an option. As a matter of fact, there are no "options". I will stay with my husband until I die. I know there will be struggles, I know we will fight (even though at this point I can't imagine fighting with the man I love, I know it's going to happen occasionally,) I know there is a possibility we might struggle financially (nobody knows what their financial future will hold,) we might move and leave friends and have to start over frequently, and lastly, we will NEVER agree on every little thing in life. Those are facts. Things we need to think about before we say "I do".

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Just a side note:

None of this is in any way trying to degrade those who have been through a divorce. I have sympathy for them, not anger or hatred. If you have been through a divorce, I know it was one of the hardest things you've ever had to go through. But I pray if you have married again, you would take to heart what God has said about choosing love over anger. You must choose, every day, to love your spouse. Just as God chooses to love us despite all the wrong we do.

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Nobody will have a perfect marriage, but you can most certainly have a great marriage! One that is centered on God and His truths; one that is ordained by God and blessed by Him. The best part of marriage is not that you will not have trials and tribulations, but that when those things come, you have someone to lean on, encourage you, cry with you, struggle with you....and someone who will pray for you and be there for you.

I think one of the biggest things missing in marriages today is prayer. People just don't pray for each other anymore. Why is that? Do we think everything will always be perfect and our spouse won't ever go through something hard enough that they'd "need" prayer? Regardless of what people now days think about prayer, it is one of the more powerful things we can do. Praying requires faith, and faith can "move mountains".

Just some things to think about. 

Pray for each other DAILY.
Support each other through EVERYTHING.
Do not go to bed ANGRY with one another.
ALWAYS be willing to put the other person above yourself. 

Marriage is about two people. If one or the other begins making it about ONE person, it will start to fade and crumble quickly. Build your marriage on THE Rock (Jesus,) and it will do well.