Self-worth

I truly believe the worst lies we ever face are the ones we tell ourselves. The times we tell ourselves we're not worth loving. The times we tell ourselves nobody would want to be our friend. The times we tell ourselves we aren't very bright, creative, talented, we can't do anything right...the list goes on and on. At least, for me it does. All my life I've had problems with accepting myself for who I am. It's as if my brain (yes, I have one) thinks, if I can't do everything, it's as though I can't do anything. "All or nothing." So, basically, all my life I've thought I was junk. Not worth even knowing. If someone complimented me, I got upset, because to me they were simply saying it so they wouldn't seem rude.

In other words, I'm telling God...the creator of all, heaven and earth...He made me a piece of junk. In a round about sort of way, God says He does NOT make junk. Things we might consider "thorns in our side" God gave us for a reason. Nobody can be good at EVERYTHING. God made each of us for a specific purpose. Each a SPECIAL design. A UNIQUE creation. That is, if we are who He made us to be, otherwise we're following after someone else, and won't ever feel like we're special because we're like...well, everyone else. Yet another problem with the world. Trends. People make you feel you have to dress, talk, own certain things, and BE a certain way to be "good enough" to be liked or loved. 'Tis a lie, and unfortunately I have been telling myself these lies for all my life. I've always thought I was junk. Thought I was the ugly duckling...the one God didn't make right. So, why would ANYONE want to even be around such an awful person. Aye, but I wasn't a mistake. If I am who God made me to be, I WILL be special. I will let Christ shine through me, and not other people's lives or my self-hate. I guess for SO long, I haven't been able to get it through this head of mine, that when Christ died for all, that meant ME, too...I mean, I KNOW that, but to accept being worth dying for... that takes a lot. It means I have to accept myself. Who God made me to be. Accept that I am worth something besides nothing.

People are rough, I'll tell you. They beat up on you, tear all of your walls down, and then trample on all of the debris until you're lost inside. There's a quote, "If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise the price." You walk around defeated, everyone around you will treat you like you are. This battle of life, these struggles we face every day, these worldly people who beat down on us....God has already won the battle against them. The battle of good and evil is won. Why worry about the future when it's already been decided? I won't ever be "perfect" in myself, but THROUGH Christ's blood, and gift of life, I have been made perfect. Only through Him, and what He's done, not through anything I could have ever done or will ever be able to do.

I write this now, but I know I will continue to struggle with these things. Breaking a habit is not easy, it takes work. But the thing is TO work, and not just accept defeat.....defeat by yourself, AGAINST yourself. Life will never be easy, this I know. But with some work, I think I will have the self confidence I've longed for, for so long, and if you face any of these, you can overcome it as well.

"A persons worth in this world is estimated according to the value they put on themselves." How much are you worth? To God, you're priceless.