Love for people, or yourself?

Tonight I was flipping through an old journal I had written a bunch of quotes in awhile back. It's so interesting how things that I was going through then and the quotes that encouraged me, still apply. The last one I wrote down was very interesting. I wanted to write tonight and since this was the last thing I read, it was random enough for me to think of a post. lol :)

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to be our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." -Thomas Merton

It hit me big time, because I have done this... still do sometimes. It's sad to know that I was loving someone simply because I found things in them that had become because of me. I had been an "influence" on a persons life, and loved them for my own selfish reasons. Like the quote said "I loved only the reflection of myself."

One of the things that has always comforted me more than anything, is the fact that I know without a doubt that God made me the way I am. He didn't mess up and He sure didn't make me broken. I am uniquely me. I am Jessica, and whereas there may be other girls who look like me, share my name, or have similar personality traits...not a one is an exact duplicate of me. Nobody can ever change that, no matter how hard they try. God has made each of us perfectly. Each little quirk or funny thing we do, He made. Each difference in our bodies...big ears, pale skin, thick hair, short stature, an extra toe...is specially made. All these things other people, and even ourselves, think are "mess ups" are simply God's creative skills at work.

You are who God made you to be. He didn't have a slip of the hand and accidentally give you freckles or a tiny nose. All of these things are a gift, ones which were thought out and presented with love from the Creator.

We can't love someone if our motive for giving that love has any selfishness in it. I can't truly love my sister Emily unless I love her for HER, not because she likes the same design style and music as I do. I must love my brother Joshua for who HE is, and not because he has my passion for baking, or my same feelings on certain topics. I can't love my parents if my only reason is because we agree on everything and get along perfectly. Love doesn't just happen. It is a choice, and one that we all must make. Loving a person takes giving up oneself, and throwing away any selfish motives we might have. Otherwise, all you love IS yourself.

God teaches me so much every single day. A judging heart comes from someone who thinks others should do things the way they do them. The funny thing is, the one being judged is often not the victim. It's the one doing the judging, because they lose so much of their life to being unhappy...they could have so much joy through Christ.

Chose love, as Christ chose to love us; it will be the most freeing decision you'll ever make.