Doubting love?

It has been my experience that the greatest gifts in life are to love and be loved. Without love, one has no reason to live, laugh, "do" or love in return.

Often when someone is going through a hard time, they have the tendency to go to someone they know loves them. The feeling of acceptance is so strong they head that direction for strength. What about those times when you feel completely unloved; where do you go then? It's a tough question when it's happening to you. You feel lost and weak, like your strength is draining by the minute by not having someone to lean on.

So many times this has happened, and not because I haven't a soul who loves me, but because I push to the back of my mind those who have been with me for most of my life, the ones who have been my constant, loved me through it all; I want someone knew, who hasn't "worn out" phrases of comfort...at least, that's what I tell myself.

Why this hunger for love? Why this drive to have that one person who loves differently than the rest? God has put a natural desire in all of our hearts to be loved. Even if we say we don't care about it, we all have it somewhere inside our hearts. We long for that acceptance of who we are; to be cherished and treasured. To be treated like someone special and not just another person.

Through the years I searched for the acceptance of mankind, the love of other people and the feeling that one person, more than anyone else, cares for Jessica especially.

You know what I've learned? I have all of that and more. See, 2,000 years ago there was a man who loved me more than I will ever be loved by any human on this earth. As a matter of fact, He loved me so much that, when it came time to pay for the wrong of all mankind, this man took upon Himself the debt, pain and death for all.
Now you tell me, is that not the perfect image of true love?

Every time a problem arises, I get confused and fearful.
What will happen to me now?
What about _______ that had been my life plan?
Where do I go from here? All that I thought was my future is now in pieces.

First of all, the words "I" and "me" appear way too much in these frequently asked questions. My "frequents" if you will. It's funny how questions of fear arise when my plans fall through. What if I would make my plans God's plans? How much of a difference would my life be? Questions are ok, really they are. Don't ever stop asking them (the right kinds of questions, though, there's the kicker). I often find when I come to a place of questioning, I find that I have yet to rely on all of God's strength. Then and only then can He humble my heart and help me release my grip.

This is when I should say "Lord, take away all that is me. Give me the guidance I need for these paths ahead of me." Instead of my normal "God help me on this path that I have chosen." The bible doesn't ever say to not ask God of things. He desires that we talk with Him, ask questions so He can give us His wisdom. His plan was never for us to have to figure out problems on our own. Having a curious nature is kind of who I am, so this is a very good thing for me. If I never asked questions, I wouldn't know a whole lot of what God says at all.

Back to the main topic, though.

It's so amazing to have questions, be fearful and lost...then, right when you feel there is no hope, God comes in with His still small voice and starts whispering His love for us. How precious we are to Him. How unique He made us so that we could shine His love to others in a totally different way than any other person on this planet. How we should never desire the acceptance of the world, because we are already accepted by Him. We are precious, treasured and loved more than anything else in God's eyes. Where as most people decide how much they care for us by the way we act, talk, dress, believe or things we are passionate about...God loved us before we were even born. Before anyone even knew what we were going to be like!

Now tell me it's not amazing to know you DO have love? Even in the darkest times of your life, you DO have someone to go to, someone to lean on, someone to wipe away your tears, someone who will always be there, someone who will stick by your side no matter what happens or what you do (whether good or bad.) To know that you are treasured, wrapped in the arms of the One who made you, knit you together and blessed you with the very breath you breathe and gifts you have; there is no greater feeling!

You are loved. You are treasured. You are priceless. You are worth dying for. Never lose hope or doubt the love of your Savior.

Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you, wrap you up with peace, strength and His unending love. Take it! It is a gift freely given to those who accept it.