God died for me. For ME. The very one who might as well have cried "CRUCIFY HIM!" the one who hammered the nails into His hands and feet on the cross.
You know what brings me to my knees? The fact that, though I put Him on the cross, He actually went willingly. He knew it was going to happen and didn't run away; when He was on the cross, He didn't call the angels down to take Him down or carry Him away. He suffered great agony just to save my life. That is true love.
Who else has ever done that? Nobody.
So many days I rush through my schedule, thinking of all *I* need to get done for *me* and *my* life. I forget God is there and that I need nothing else, because He is sufficient for my every need. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I don't need to do my regular daily tasks, but more that I need to do them with intent. I need to do my jobs diligently as if I were doing them for the very King I bow down before.
I have so much in my head right now, I thought for sure I'd be able to "put it down on paper" so to speak. At this very moment though, I am almost without words. Yes, the girl who writes until her fingers won't move anymore.
I watched Courageous again last night with my dad and was again reminded of how sad a shape this world is in. Husbands and fathers who are willing to stand up for what is right, willing to be the leader and protector of their families; Single men who actually know how to stand up on their own and be a real man; Single young women who have more than a 2 week relationship on their mind; Women who follow their husbands lead without complaint or grief; Children who actually know what the word "respect" means; these are all a dying breed. Selfishness is tearing apart our world; it has since the beginning of time. How many times do we point our finger in God's face and tell Him we know what's best...only to mess everything up? How often do we put our hope in something or someone other than God only to end up disappointed?
"My hope is in the Lord." It should be simple, but so often I forget the only hope I have in this life is Jesus Christ.
While it is hard for the outside world to take it in or comprehend it, God is truly all we need. He is so gracious to let us make our choices, but still wait for us when we realize we've made the wrong ones.
Mistakes haunt every day I go through. Memories plague my mind and cause me to have thoughts of regret and despair. Through it all, God is there. He stands tall and true, allowing me the time I need to come back to Him and again trust His guidance. He is the light, and without light, my path is nothing but darkness. No walk I go on will have a lit path unless I allow Him to lead me.
"Choose for yourselves whom you will serve: ....as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." -Joshua 24:15
We have the choice. Nobody has forced us to choose or deny God. I made the choice to serve God a long time ago, and though there are some really rough times, God has never left me, He has never kept His love from me. It is still impossible for me to comprehend or grasp how He could love me so much after what I caused Him to go through 2,000 years ago on that cross, and still to this day when I stray from Him for a time. The hurt a father feels when his child doesn't listen to his guidance and then gets hurt...the pain he feels in his heart; the aching he has in his soul. Every time I disobey or turn from my holy Father's wisdom, it hurts Him. He wants what's best for me, but I still often choose the wrong way.
"I see the king of glory, coming on the clouds with fire. The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes. I see his love and mercy, washing over all our sin. The people sing, the people sing.
Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest. Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest.
I see a generation, rising up to take their place. With selfless faith, with selfless faith. I see a near revival, stirring as we pray and seek. We're on our knees, we're on our knees.
Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest. Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest.
Heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like You have loved me. Break my heart from what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your kingdoms cause as I go from nothing to eternity." -(Hosanna, by Hillsong Chapel)
Isn't it time we go to our knees? Isn't it time we receive new hearts by having ours broken for the things that breaks His?
Though we have been given the free will to choose how we live out our life, as followers of Christ we will be judged for every decision we make. If we make the wrong ones, it's on us.
When I get to heaven one day, I want to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant." I want more of HIM and less of ME. But to do that, I have to humble myself before God...and that is not easy.
My prayer is that the longer I live, the closer I get to my God. The more like Him I become so eventually you won't even be able to see me; only a person filled with God's love.
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