A candle burning

If I learned one thing today at the funeral it was this: my light for Christ has been but a candle in the wind, never burning to it's full potential.

I've allowed small amounts of my life to glow with the love of Jesus, but never so much that people talked about it. I kept thinking "I wish I could be like Jimmy." Then I stopped and thought... What was Jimmy's goal in life? To bring other people closer to Christ. He doesn't want me putting his life on a pedestal. He was one of the most amazing examples of a true Christian I've ever seen, but he didn't want me to desire to be like him. He wanted everyone who knew him to draw closer to Christ.

I guess you could say that him being so emptied to Christ that being like Jimmy, would be to be like Christ.

All of the things people had to say about Jimmy were just inspiring. I thought "What would people say about me if I were to die tomorrow?" I honestly don't know. I don't know if my life has touched many people or if I've made such a positive difference in anyone's life. Jimmy could say "I've finished the course, I've kept the faith". His life overflowed with God, and everyone knew it. But have I even made a dent in anyone's life? I may never know until I get to heaven.

The stories of Jimmy's bible having almost whole books highlighted...verses written all over the place so he would always have God's word in front of his eyes. The way he found peace and beauty in things like a field, walking barefoot on the road and looking up at the open sky. He found all of those things amazing, because His God made them; he took the time to enjoy the small things in life that we so often take for granted. His bubbly attitude and his amazingly contagious smile shone God brighter than any I've ever seen.

I think to myself questions like "Why would God take Jimmy home, when there aren't a whole lot of young men here on this earth that are that passionate for God, and loving to everyone around him." God stops me, and reminds me that HIS timing is perfect; always. Through Jimmy being brought home, he might inspire thousands of other young men to turn their lives around and they will inspire even more young men (and women).

To be more like Christ...that is my point. I hunger to be more like my Savior and Creator.

"Lead me to the cross where Your love poured out. Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down. Rid me of myself I belong to You. Lead me, lead me
to the cross." ("Lead Me To The Cross" by Chris and Conrad)

Oh dear God, why have I given so much of my life to myself? To be so in love with You, Lord, is something I've always wanted, but never given all the time I had into making it happen. To empty myself completely of "me" and ask You to fill my heart up with You. To be filled with the Holy Spirit and overflowing with love for everyone I come in contact with; Lord that is what I want. I pray today, God, that you would tear out and chisel away everything in my life that is not of You. That what breaks Your heart would break mine. That I would love as You loved and still love...not judging other people by their looks, but doing all I can to win their heart to You. That I would remember what I say and how I say it matters, Lord I pray that You would watch over my tongue and not let me speak words unless You would speak them. I pray that I would glow with Your love, forgiveness, peace and mercy to all I come in contact with. Amen.